Cottage Vacation

The past week or so

I spent in Cottage Country with my boyfriend's family

We spent hours swimming in the lake,

reading old favourites and new,

playing card games, baseball, bocce ball and badminton

and ate all the cookies, 

chips and barbeque that I could get my hands on.

I definitely stretched out my stomach a bit, and returning to my regular diet will be a challenge.

It was a relaxing start to the summer

and a few things surprised me -

I woke each morning by 8 am, never sleeping in

Drank only 2 beers out of respect for my boyfriend's parents

and after years of pain, I avoided sunburn and bug bites!

It was a great vacation, 

and while I was worried I would carry my current burdens with me

(job search, money struggles and fractured family relations)

I was able to completely release my mind from deep thoughts, 

enjoy the company of those around me, and get silly.

The Good Stuff

http://kimisher.tumblr.com/page/6

I love seeing people do little playful things...

a parked taxi driver jumping up from the sidewalk to reach the 

tree branches,

a middle aged man walking with his cat to the park and indulging kitty's curiosities,

young kids turning any simple act into an exciting game 

to pass the time..

I myself act out sounds while I drive or run, 

and while it sometimes upsets my pacing,

I find it so fun to jog and punch the air

or really do go get my go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go-go gadget flow...

The other day my friend asked me what my biggest pet peeve was,

something that I absolutely can not tolerate-

and I was a little surprised to draw a blank.

There are things that bother me, 

but nothing that makes me leave a room-

instead, all I could think of 

was all the little quirks that make me smile.

And catching people be silly is one of my favourites.

There are no stupid questions

I have been feeling a slight tugging over the past few months

Each time I shrug it off 

a minor thought, 

a passing feeling,

But it seems, that over these past few months, 

each uncomfortable moment tugs at my 'future career'

And suddenly today, it left me feeling unsettled and concerned.

Since I started my post-secondary journey, 

the future projections for career and lifestyle have been tied to Environmentalism.

As I grow older I've become more aware of the monumental struggles of obtaining jobs, 

better jobs, 

homes, 

sustenance, 

partners, 

things and 

inner fulfillment.

I’ve begun to feel unconfident in my ability to match a career in Environmentalism to an extremely sustainable lifestyle.

I feel torn between what kind of city/town I want to live in,

What kind of home,

And where my initially small income will go.

I grew up in a suburb, 

and while I find them placeless, boring and limited,

I have a shortlist of neighbourhoods I’d want to call home in the 

Big City

I love the idea of having a small yard, with room for a garden and 

fire pit,

But I know that suburban, 

low-density housing is possibly the most unsustainable planning 

we’ve ever utilized,

I also know that my dollar will go much further outside of the Big City.

At the time being, 

I eat so many vegetables off the Dirty Dozen list,

and while I’m educated in how these toxic chemicals affect my body, 

I can’t buy organic right now. 

A small expense yes, 

but I already stretch my tiny grocery budget about as far as it will go.

Once I get out of school, I will need to take a job,

And I will have the responsibility of wielding a larger (hopefully) income, 

but where will it go?

I will not be live feeling like a hypocritical environmentalist.

I take pride in being true to the bone

Will I be able to live in a smart, mega-dense home,

Utilize all the newest energy efficient appliances,

Purchase the right products from the right manufacturers,

And eat the most sustainable foods?

And 

how will those around me participate?

I just don’t know.

I feel like the things I’ve learned, 

I cannot unlearn

And I cannot forget  

I would never want to.

The things I’ve learned make me question what I believe in,

How I want to conduct myself,

And how involved/devoted I can become.